


“I never said thank you for that”

by simplesetgo



Series: As Long as it Takes [1]
Category: Legend of the Seeker
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-16
Updated: 2011-02-16
Packaged: 2017-10-17 22:58:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/182209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplesetgo/pseuds/simplesetgo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kahlan says goodbye, but it's not the end. Part 1 of 3.</p>
            </blockquote>





	“I never said thank you for that”

This day, this hour, was never supposed to come, but it is here all the same. It is moments before either of them speak, Kahlan staring fixedly at Cara’s boots as the Mord-Sith stands stiffly before her. Waiting.

“Goodbye,” Kahlan says softly, the whispered word echoing in the small and silent space.

“I might see you again,” Cara says. “There’s no way to know.”

“It won’t be the same. We won’t be the same.”

Cara sighs, a stretch of silence telling of her search for words. “We both knew this would happen,” she says at length. Crossing her arms, Cara doubtlessly hopes to be the strong one, the one in control of her emotions. The irony fills Kahlan with remorse, herself being the one who tore down that control.

She feels like a child entrusted with a most valuable treasure, and the feeling of dread that comes with looking in Cara’s eyes now is like watching it fall from her hands, a heartbeat away from shattering on the floor. She fought for and won the heart of a Mord-Sith, and now she has to give it back—likely more broken than it ever was.

“Then why did we do this to ourselves?” Kahlan asks, stepping forward as if in challenge.

“We are fools,” Cara offers simply. “You are the Mother Confessor. I am Mord-Sith. Our places in this world could not be farther apart.”

“My place is—”

Cara stops her with a single look. “Your place is here. Mine is not.”

Kahlan sets her jaw, at once angry and ashamed at having to be reminded. “I want you to stay by my side,” she says stubbornly, no longer caring how juvenile she sounded.

“I can’t,” Cara says, tilting her head as she steps in front of her. They share the same air and breath as the Mord-Sith searches her eyes, raising a hand to stroke her thumb down Kahlan’s cheek with so much gentleness it hurts. The touch says, _I learned this from you._

Kahlan’s chest constricts with such raw emotion. She closes her eyes, leans in, but freezes when she feels fingers press to her lips, stopping her. She understands, of course. Every kiss they ever shared was an open lie, a promise Kahlan couldn’t keep. Every one of the few nights they were together, twisting fate with the aid of a small silver collar, hurt more than the last. So Kahlan pulls her into a tight embrace instead, burying her face in blonde hair one last time, breathing Cara in and setting the scent to memory. Then she’s pushing back, just looking at Cara’s eyes, and the obvious pain she sees there is enough to threaten her own with the pressure of sudden tears. So she looks away.

“Will you try to forget me?” Kahlan whispers. “Will you ask your Sisters to break you until you’re free of me? I would understand.”

“I would never,” Cara says, brow furrowed. “Kahlan, I would end anyone who tried.”

“What if I tried?”

Cara looks at her sternly. “You’re asking too many questions. Are you trying to keep me here by talking?”

Kahlan forces a small smile, looks down and crosses her arms. “You caught me,” she says. “I’ll keep us talking until I’m no longer the Mother Confessor or you’re no longer Mord-Sith. However long that takes.”

“If that ever happens,” Cara says solemnly, “if you’re ever free of this, you come find me. Swear it.”

“I swear it,” Kahlan says. “I won’t stop until I find you. Until I’m in your arms, and then…I’ll kiss you, and then you’ll likely toss me over your shoulder and stomp off in search of the nearest bed. You’ll—”

Two fingers on her lips stop her short again, but the tiny smile on Cara’s face is genuine as Kahlan kisses her fingertips.

“Goodbye, Kahlan,” she says, and the smile falters. Then she’s turning away and Kahlan freezes, every muscle in her body straining with effort to stay still. Cara stops herself, raises a hand to grip the doorway, and Kahlan says the words to Cara’s back that Cara won’t.

“I’ll miss you.”

Cara nods curtly, as is her way, and then she’s gone. Kahlan’s world already feels smaller and colder, but then she closes her eyes and thinks of that time under the stars, that warm night where this all began. Where she touched Cara’s face with her lips, her heart pounding out of her chest, and Cara sighed and told her that she shouldn’t have done that.


End file.
